Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Single and 27.

It sometimes feels like everyone is getting married and settling down. It seems like getting married is the big grown up step to take in life. Even though marriage isn't as highly regarded as it once was there are still plenty of people either marrying or doing the more modern equivalent and living with a partner. Living in sin as my Grandma says! 

Sometimes I wonder about God's plan for me and question and push and generally stomp my feet and demand my own way like a fractious toddler! I would love a road sign or two just to show that I am on the right track as it is easy to feel like life is rushing on and on and I am standing still. I have to be careful as I know that, if I let it get hold, then these sinful thoughts will embed themselves into my mind. Negative influences can  come in many forms. Some are so obvious and easy to avoid but others, the dangerous ones, are more subtle and insidious. The romance novels where the man and woman are so unhappy while single and gloriously happy once married and where the book ends with everyone neatly paired up. What do I want to give most influence from? A fluffy Christian romance novel or God's own word in the Bible? 

I always assumed that I would get married. I wasn't one of those girls who dreamt about a big white dress or picked out flowers for the bridal bouquet but there was always this vague idea that marriage would happen. The older I get though the more I feel that marriage isn't God's plan for me.  Of course, I can't be sure of this! I just don't feel dread imagining a future without marriage. There is a certain contentment from just trusting in God! 

Marriage is a gift from God but so is singleness! Singleness sometimes has such negative ideas surrounding it. Mostly in the minds of other people! An older single must be desperate to get married, must be feeling left behind, and must be waiting to finally get on with their proper role. It hurts sometimes that people make little comments about waiting and being left on the shelf as though being single means that I am somehow deficient or lacking or not doing God's will. It is perfectly possible to a productive Christian without being married. If anything I have more time and energy to devote to God. Not just studying His Word but also putting this into action in my life. 

Singleness can be a blessing whether it is a temporary situation or a permanent situation. God places us exactly where He wants us and we get the opportunity to grow and learn from the situation we find ourselves in. Well we do if we open our eyes and look around! 

Some find it strange that I love all the home making tasks and yet may never have a family of my own. I get comments about it being pointless. As far as I know single people still eat, clean, have gardens, and have clothes that need mending! Learning a new skill is never pointless. I know that knitting is teaching me patience far faster than anything else! 

God is using this season of my life to draw me closer to Him. To teach me to turn to Him first and to look to His will. Whether this season lasts a few years or the rest of my life there is joy, contentment, and peace to be found in trusting God completely. 




  1. Hello Jenny!
    Thank you for writing this post as God has used to to remind me im not alone in my singleness. I guess the fact that my 28th birthday is less than 7 days away and never even having a boyfriend much less a prospect for marriage has made me go into the "poor me" mode. ;) But God has reminded me that I must trust His timing and be content if He never had it planned for me to marry. I will be praying for you in your journey of singleness. God bless.


  2. Jenny ~ I just found your blog and thought it so positive, sweet, joyful and sensible all at the same time! You sound like a young lady with your head screwed on, so to speak (as we say in England!)
    I'm so glad you are happy and not spending time mournfully waiting for Mr Right to come along, there are so many great ways to live as a single person right now, and anyway I'm sure it WILL happen anyway. 27 is young!! (I am 53 : ) ) and in your photo you look beautiful and a sweet person.
    Some one will notice that!!
    You can meet some one at any age down the line, you just don't know what will happen! It is so much better to be busy enjoying yourself in a multitude of ways,as you are doing.
    Just make sure you do mix a bit in different ways and are great as you are.
    I hope you didn't mind me commenting like this, but I wanted, as an older person to say well done for your attitude.
    Blessings to you,

  3. I love this and your attitude! I am the same way...I am 31 and single and happy. Me being single bothers other people way more than it bothers me. I know I am doing exactly what God wants me to do and I wish people could see that!

  4. Jenny,I LOVE the trust and contentment you have in God's plan for your life! This is such a beautiful post! xoxo

  5. I'm a married person but I also say well done and applaud your attitude! Marriage is God's tool for knocking my rough edges off and for teaching me and shaping my soul to magnify His glory but it isn't the only tool available. And marriage isn't always blissful.

  6. Be at Peace in God's timing. My grandmother got married at 29 (which was ANCIENT by the standards of her time).

    *I* got married at 39! God has truly Blessed me - both as a single & a married person. When you're single you can use your domestic skills to serve others - raising children & caring for the elderly as I did. No rule says you must use your domestic gifts only for your own parents & offspring.

    I never planned to marry, but at the right time, God sent the right person.

    A wise speaker told me when I was young - "Don't look for someone to make you complete - look to be a complete & Godly & whole person by yourself. Then, if God sends you a spouse, you'll be able to truly be a blessing to them."

  7. A kindred spirit here. I'm 28 and have never been married either. In fact, I've only had one serious dating relationship that ended once a deal breaker was found and marriage was off the table. I want to have a family of my own, and am sometimes sad when I see younger friends having babies when I'm not even engaged and have no immediate prospects. But any more I feel more and more okay with that. Maybe it's finally been long enough that I've got peace in trusting God's timing. Or maybe he wants me to remain single and is just taking away the desire. In either case my road forward is clear - just keep trusting him and working hard to help others, even if they aren't a family of my own.

  8. It is nice to read of a young lady who is not wasting life in "waiting." God does not plan marriage for everyone and our lives are to be lived for His glory, in marriage or otherwise. I myself did not get married until nine months ago. (I'm 28.)

  9. I'm going to comment from a different angle. You can strongly influence the outcome here, by the number of new guys you meet and by how open you are to a relationship with them... If you're looking for a man who exactly shares your beliefs, that's going to be really hard in the UK. I think it's true to say that all my family with minority beliefs are happily married - to someone of a different faith. Someone they probably met down the pub (well, that's where I met my hubby anyway)! After all, the more new men you meet, the more likely you are to find someone you like...

    Of course I only see the snippets of your life that you put on here and may totally have misjudged your situation. And yes, I am an interfering old bag :-)

  10. That's a great attitude, Jenny. You sound peaceful.
    I'm 22 and single right now, and I really hope to get married someday.
    I'm looking forward to it if God has it planned for me.
    But right now, I enjoy staying busy trying to be a daily blessing to others. And I certainly am busy. I enjoy trying to brighten up someone's day, though I'm certainly not that way all the time! No one is. And I see so many ways that God could be preparing my sister and me to better serve our future husbands and children if He brings them to us. I see the the things He brings into our lives and how it helps us prepare for a possible future home of our own and it excites me.
    I am happy right now and hope I'm being useful for Christ.


  11. I love what you shared!! I am now married, but since it's only been for 2 years, I can remember completely relating to what you shared! I think your perspective is so beautiful and I wish more single ladies had your perspective.

  12. Hi Jenny, visiting from a Wise Woman, Love your post. And I love that at the end of the day, you are choosing to use this season in your life to get closer to the Lord! Excellent goal
    God bless
    ps, love for you to link this post on Winsome Wednesday