Every man who desires the pearl of great price must sacrifice his all to buy it. It is not enough to see the beauty and the glory and almost to taste the joy of this wonderful life; you must become the possessor of it. The man had found and seen, desired and rejoiced in, the pearl of great price; but he did not have it until he gave up everything and bought it.
You cannot live every day in perfect fellowship with God without giving up time to it. Hours, and days, and weeks, and months, and years are gladly given up by men and women to perfect themselves in some profession or accomplishment. Do you expect that religion is so cheap that without giving time you can find close fellowship with God? You cannot. But, my brothers and sisters, this pearl is worth everything. If you find that there is a struggle within the heart, never mind. By Gods's grace, if you will lie at His feet, you may depend upon it deliverance will come.
I thought that becoming a Christian would make my life easier. I imagined that life would be simpler if I trusted my path to God. The Bible seemed like the guide to life book that offered all that missing guidance. This idea that you couldn't go off track appealed to me.
What I found was that life after becoming a Christian was hard! I struggle to trust God completely as, I think, I am just so used to doing what I wanted and not thinking about the consequences. I still feel like I am wandering off my path and find it hard to see what I am achieving in my life. Looking for a purpose! It is hard too because, although the Bible has so much advice and wisdom, I am now held to a higher standard. God sees my heart so all the grey areas suddenly seem so much darker. It is much harder to justify certain thoughts and actions when you know that God sees and cares.
My faith is so comforting to me and, even after my shaky moments, I always go back to it. It is like I have been lead home to who I should be and why. Even when I was unsure of my belief in God, He was sure of me. I wonder if He knew that I would eventually find my faith and change my heart. I wonder if He knew that, hard as it is, it is the most worthwhile choice I have ever made. In that sense becoming a Christian is easy as it is the right and good thing to do despite all the challenges and obstacles that arise from this choice. It takes time and effort, falling down and getting back up, and trusting your steps to be placed exactly right even when you can't see the path.
The endless question of "God, are you there?" is always answered "yes" whether it is a small voice in your heart or a sign in your life. God is always there.