What is a daughter’s role in the home once she is past the age of attending school and is an adult in her own right? I have thought about this quite a lot as I am in my 20’s and still live with my parents and work full time outside the home. I sometimes wish I was married and had a home of my own but as life hasn’t turned out that way I am determined to make the best of what I have. I do find it difficult to see people my age and younger who are already married and having children. I guess it is just another part of accepting God’s path for me and not thinking that I know best.
I don’t believe that learning stops when school does although it can be hard to maintain that level of structure. I know that sometimes I don’t get around to doing things I should but when I was at school lessons started at a set time regardless of whether I would rather be doing something else. It is also hard to judge what progress has been made. Part of this blog’s purpose is to record as I (hopefully) change and develop as a person.
A quote from the 1893 Girl’s Own Annual:
“Shun what has been called the “Fiend of Idleness.” In nine cases out of ten, in family life, idleness means quarrelling. Being busy means being happy. To look forward to having nothing to do, as though such a condition were an advantage, seems to me something despicable. To waste the years from, say, sixteen to twenty-five in aimlessness and self-indulgence, instead of in vigorous systematic self-culture, is absolutely wicked. God gives work to those who fit themselves for it, and He rewards work with more work, and thus, as we render ourselves more apt and capable, greater opportunities come to us.”
I think a big part of being at home is helping my mum. If I can relive some of the burden of caring for the home and garden from her I will and it is good practice for me, both in the actual tasks and in learning to put other people’s needs before my own. It is so easy to fill my time with meaningless things like television or magazines, things that take your time and leave you with nothing worthwhile for the missing hour or two. I am working on conquering this fault in myself by not buying gossipy celebrity magazines and by just watching the actual programme I want on television rather than flicking through all the channels.
I have read about stay at home daughters in various books and on the internet as it wasn’t something that I knew even existed. I am not sure that it does exist in England to be honest! I think it is a lovely idea where it is possible. What a wonderful chance to learn all the skills needed to raise a family and look after a home without being pulled in different directions when studying for exams or working outside the home. I know that it isn’t financially possible for many families but what an opportunity for those daughters who do stay home until they get married.
It is hard to explain to others the value I see in learning home making skills. Most people I know already think I am very old fashioned especially if we get talking about what sort of marriage I would want. Traditional values don’t seem very popular! Maybe I was born in the wrong era!
Another quote from the 1893 Girl’s Own Annual:
“Don’t ape the man. Keep to woman’s kingdom; it is a domain large enough for any queen. Men may pretend to admire the loud talking, the slang phrases, and the forward manner of the “mannish” girls, but it is not among them that honest sensible men desire to find their wives."